MARRIED WOMEN WITH YOUNG CHILDREN -
TO WORK OR NOT TO WORK THAT IS THE QUESTION?
You may have asked yourself this question, “Is it alright to work outside the home while having a family?” Now I must ask, “How many children do you have?” This also brings another question to mind, “How old are your children living with you right now?” Typically, the more children you have and the younger they are the more you are needed at the house. Now assuming that you have children and they are young (infant, toddler, elementary, middle and high school) Considering those circumstances let me ask a very important question, “Will you be efficient in working full-time and raising children full-time?” Something will suffer because the Word of God states in Mark 3:25 that “Any house divided against itself will fall, it shall not stand. James 1:8 further states, “A doubled minded man is unstable in all his ways”. You can not push two things at the same time and expect to be successful in both of them. Yes, you may have a measure of success in one but you will not have a full measure in both. How can you give your whole heart to two very different things without distraction? Whatever you put your time with attention on and your heart into you will have success. You will need help to perform this ministry and this help will start with a plan. Things will go a lot smoother for you if you start with God’s Plan to establish His Help. God made man to work, and to provide for his family.
Genesis 30:29-30
29 Jacob replied, "You know how faithfully I've served you through these many years, and how your flocks and herds have grown. 30 You had little indeed before I came, and your wealth has increased enormously. The LORD has blessed you from everything I do! But now, what about me? When should I provide for my own family?" NLT
Proverbs 12:14
From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things
as surely as the work of his hands rewards him. NIV
Ecclesiastes 2:24
There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God. KJV
1 Corinthians 7:33
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. KJV
1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. KJV
Ephesians 4:28
Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. KJV
God created wives and mothers for a unique and special assignment. We are the more nurtures of the home. I like to call it the managers and overseer of the home. I am right now speaking to women who are married with families’ not single mothers with families. We are there to watch over the things in the home to make sure the home runs smoothly.
1 Thessalonians 2:7
But we behaved gently when we were among you, like a devoted mother nursing and cherishing her own children. AMP
1 Timothy 5:14
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. KJV
Titus 2:3-5
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. KJV
We are not designed like men to take great pleasure in the works of our hands instead we take great pleasure in the works of our heart. When you have a double vision, a vision for your career and or a vision for your home that constitutes double vision. The optometrist knows that is a problem for your sight, your eyes were not created to see two different things at the same time. This typically is a problem with your focus. If you try to focus on two things for a long time it will impair your vision. This will mean you will have no foresight or vision at all for your home. Hence your family will suffer. The Bible says in Proverbs 29:18 that a lack of vision will cause people to perish
Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. KJV
If we look at this same verse in the New Living Translation we will find that parents need to accept God’s Wisdom.
When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is happy. NLT
So many couples wrestle with this question. Do I stay home or do I work? Some couples leave it up to their parents to decide which way they should approach it. However, the Holy Bible is clear regarding the role of a wife and the role of a husband. We each have a relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus. We are to obey the Word of God and do what He has placed on our heart concerning our family. People are the most precious resource on the face of this earth and our children are God’s children too. He has established a plan and a system to do things right and He has promise to bless His plan when we implement His Love. We are not to be selfish, and only think about our own ambition, or our own way. Those children God has blessed you with did not ask to be born into this earth realm. We as mothers have a responsibility to bring those children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We as mothers play an important role in ministering God’s Love. Who is better than a mother at showing compassion to a newborn baby? Who can feed a child with nothing from the store? Who can birth a child without following a procedure from the hospital? If this calling by God started with the mother devoting her full time to start a child in this earth how long does it take to know in your heart that your full time services are no longer necessary. How are you going to develop that child throughout the day when you are working full time during the day. Many mothers come home tired and stressed from working all day only to face the demands of the family waiting for her full attention the second her feet hit the door. The household things do not go away nor are children patient with working mothers because they realize they had a long day. I believe if we put first things first as recorded in Matthew 6:33 things will go a lot better.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things (material blessings) shall be added unto you.
If we are willing and obedient we shall eat the good of the land.-Isaiah 1:19 Meaning the good of the land is a household running smoothly and in peace. When we do our part and honor God with our obedience we then qualify to eat the good of the land. I am not speaking here of just monetary substance, but of joy, peace and God’s Presence in our lives. What price can you put on fulfillment and God’s blessed assurance that you are doing His perfect will for your life? When we have our house in order we are ministering to our husbands and children in the Power of His Might. We were created to make a house a home of God’s Presence. This concept seems to have been lost by our standards today. God is still on the throne and can help us in all that we do, if we put first things first and yield to His help. However I will remind you that it does no good to ask for God’s help unless you are willing to submit to His Word. There are too many times I have seen families where both spouses are choosing to working. I want you to know my sister and brother, something is suffering and in most cases it is the home that is suffering including all the children who live in that house. Remember I stated earlier you can not push two things and successfully hit the target on both. I have noticed over the years the pressure that is placed on wives and some husbands by the world’s persuasion to get ahead by making extra money is detrimental to family relationships (and family fellowship). People tell themselves that they are working hard to get ahead and to provide a better life for their families, that may sound commendable and right, but is it? Trying to make extra money at the expense of family relationship is not God’s ordained plan for mothers. Is that what God called you to do my sister in Christ? Is a mother to have two visions? I think not. Yes, staying home and doing it God’s way is work and extra effort because there will be sacrifices that are to be made, some things you will have to give up for the sake of His calling. Yes, your children are not always going to be young and be so dependent on Mom, but while they are young they will cleave to you. You, as their personal very own mother, are to be wholly there for them, to nurture and bring them up in ways of godliness. For the Lord is seeking a Godly seed. Good children don’t just happen by osmosis or reading from a book full of worldly wisdom. No my sister your time and your affection given consistency with God’s help (His Grace) produces good children.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he shall not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6.
Who is responsible for this training? Is the church responsible? No! Is the school responsible for their welfare? No! Is the babysitter a qualified mother for your children? No, No, and hundred times No. You and your husband are responsible for the raising of your children. Moms you need to be home to see what goes on and what things need to be encouraged, taught or discouraged. How will you know what is really going on in your house if you are not home. The reason God knows so much about each and every one of us is because He is always there with us and for us. If you are working outside the home you probably come home tired, then you pick up the kids and help with homework and after that there is dinner and other responsibilities. My point being you have another set of things to get accomplished before that day ends. It is hard work only doing one job effectively let alone try to do two jobs diligently. We as married mothers are not wired for such a task. You just need to be a doer of God’s Word and we need to practice parenting in Power of God’s Love. I did and have been abundantly blessed with patience and understanding about the things going on in my children’s lives. Are you still going to have challenges and problems that arise? Yes, yes and hundred times yes. It gives me great comfort and peace to fulfill God’s Will because I know this is what I’m suppose to be doing in this season of my life. No one said it would be easy, but it truly is fulfilling. Choose you this day life and not death. Choose you this day peace or no peace. Choose children over money. It is a decision that rest on your shoulders please consider it with all your heart, be wise and choose life and peace and children. The road is narrow only a few will be willing to go the narrow way. Generally, you will not get a physical paycheck, but you will get an extra provision of God’s Grace which is much more that any amount of money. The fruit of your reward will be your children doing God’s Will for their life with Peace and Joy in your home. Notice Proverbs 31.28,29
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all. AMP
This involves not just your house but God’s home that the Lord has helped you to create. You might say, “My husband said I have to work what do I do right now”. In those cases, if you have searched the scriptures, please write them down on a sheet of paper or get a computer and print them out. Then prayed about it to the Lord to see if the Lord has a plan for you. Specifically a plan to layout how you will get home with your children because this may be a process. Remember, through faith and patience we inherit the promises of God according to Hebrews 6:12 After you receive some inward confirmation from God about how to approach your spouse then you need to be bold. For some, you may want to present these scriptures you printed out and ask him his thoughts about those scriptures in light of God’s Will for your life. Others mothers, might only need to speak up and tell your husband how you feel and he will change his opinion if you are willing to handle the sacrifices. Still, others I know have set out a plan to have the mother stay home after a year because they want to home school. Whatever the case may be get specifics from the Lord (a plan) and express this strategy to your spouse because the Word of God is true independently of what your husband might say. Remember I stated earlier that you need a vision from God first to be successful later. Believe for the Spirit of the Lord to be upon you because that will help you to speak with might to help the meek and tenderhearted (your children). Your very own children and the Lord Himself is routing for you.
Isaiah 11:2-4
2 The Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon Him,
The Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
The Spirit of counsel and might,
The Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.
3 His delight is in the fear of the LORD,
And He shall not judge by the sight of His eyes,
Nor decide by the hearing of His ears;
4 But with righteousness He shall judge the poor,
And decide with equity for the meek of the earth;
He shall strike the earth with the rod of His mouth,
And with the breath of His lips He shall slay the wicked. NKJV
You will be amazed on how much the Lord will back His plan and this vision because He knows better than anyone else exactly what is most important.
Mark 16:19-20
19 So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.
20 And they went forth, and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen. KJV
The Lord knows how to communicate with each of His children. You were His daughter before you were the wife of a man or the mother of children. Your fellowship with The Lord should always stay in tact because you must keep a clear conscience to properly hear His voice. The Lord is to be first place in your life and the foremost authority in your family. Let the Lord deal with your spouse. God is a God of justice and rightness. Let us first do our part to acknowledge Him in all our ways and He shall straighten out any crooked paths. Amen
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. NIV
PS – If anyone needs to use this article to help them present staying at home with young children as a part of God’s Will for mothers please feel free to use this article in its entirety. The scriptures below can be used as reference.
This insert was added by Eric A. Foster to confirm the teachings of Angela because I know that there are some men who think that the Proverbs woman of chapter 31 did everything well. However, they forget to mention that she did that over her entire lifetime. Working mothers are a beautiful thing before children are born and after children are grownup but when they are young no one can tend to them like their mom. I support Angela 100% percent because God supports His Word 100%. The various scriptures references in this article is God’s Word for all mankind today. They are not to be debated or compromised in any shape, form or fashion. God’s Word stands alone as the sole governing authority over this earth and all people who ever lived on the earth. Since it is obvious that God gave you children it should also be obvious that the Lord trusted you would use His Word to help raise them. Please note that we have no problem with women working outside the home if you are a single mother as a matter of fact we pray God would give you an abundance of grace to help overcome the challenges we face today. However, if you can stay home but you choose to work because of a financial decision you need to repent and follow God’s Will. Yes both parents together need to submit to the Holy Word of God according to the verses below:
Deuteronomy 6:6-9
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. KJV
Since we know the men of Israel went to war and to work six days a week the verses about teaching the children applied directly to the mothers.
Notice Proverbs 1:8-9
8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck. KJV
And Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. KJV
It is noted that a child left to himself will bring his mother to shame because mothers have a critical part in raising children. Who can argue with this fact even today in our society. As we see in Proverbs 31:1 with the king.
The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. KJV
We also see this Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:5
When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. KJV
How was this faith imparted by the teaching of God’s Word and outward demonstrations of love and faith. Remember faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God according to Romans 10:17.
Proverbs 31:27-28
27 She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. [1 Tim 5:14; Titus 2:5.]
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied);…… AMP
We have already spoke of 1 Timothy 5:14 but we will look at it from the New Living Version for reference.
So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them. NLT
We also previously read Titus 2:3-5 in the King James Version we will look at these verses again in the New Living Version because we can never have too much of God’s Will spoken from these verses.
Titus 2:3-5
3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving the Lord. They must not go around speaking evil of others and must not be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. NLT
Now having seen God’s Perfect Will if you are wondering, “Does God love me even though I did not stay home with my little children?” The simple answer is Yes, Yes, a thousand times Yes. God loves you no matter what and even if we don’t always fulfill God’s perfect will He still keeps us in His arms of Love and acceptance based solely upon the Blood of Jesus. The sacrifice of Jesus keeps God’s Love as a reality in our life. Every working mother is loved and accepted by God. His only hope (and ours too) is that you include Him in all your decisions because He can make a way where there is no way and if you need to work His Love is still unfailing for you. Angela’s mother stayed at home and my mother had to work and the Lord Jesus brought us together to do His Will. Oh what a friend we have in Jesus, thank you Our Heavenly Father. In the final analysis it all comes back to doing God’s Will in the Name of Jesus through His Heart of Love. Amen!
Mark 10:13-16
13 And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them.
14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them,Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
15Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.
16 And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them. KJV
In His Love, Eric & Angela Foster